A little lady dwells on a secret tryst with Spanish lover.
"Um... OK, um... yes, Miss Murphy."
"Very good. Such a simple little phrase, 'yes, Miss Murphy', and you're a smart enough man, David, you should be able to remember it. Now, kiss my ass and apologize to me." With that, she pulled my face up to her skirt-covered ass, by my hair.
"I'm sorry, uhh..." *Kiss kiss* "I'm sorry, Miss Murphy, um... I apologize." *Kiss kiss*
"What are you going to do every payday?"
"I'm going to, um..."
"Keep kissing my ass."
*Kiss kiss* "I'm going to, um, give you the difference" *kiss kiss* "in our paychecks, um" *kiss kiss* "in cash, um .... every payday" *kiss kiss* "Um, Miss Murphy."
"Now tell me you're my little slave, and you have no power to argue, and you're gonna do everything I tell you to do from now on without question."
*Kiss kiss* "Um, I'm your ... uh ... little slave--"
"Make sure you call me Miss Murphy."
*Kiss kiss* "Miss Murphy" *kiss kiss* "and, um ... I have" *kiss kiss* "no power to argue" *kiss kiss* "and I will, um" *kiss kiss* "do everything you say without question" *kiss kiss*
At that, she let go of my hair. "OK. Get up, and grab your things. We have a class to go to."
Moments later, we stood in front of her 9:00 Math 190 class, and I cringed once again as she introduced me as "Davey, my teaching assistant." She explained to the students that I had graded their tests over the weekend, and that she had looked them over to make sure I had done a good job. That was a lie, of course; she had not laid eyes on them since she put them on my desk three days before. She told the students if they had any issues with the way their test was graded, they should come and talk to her. This was obviously intended to make me look only semi-competent, and to make her look like the expert. Then she told them that although she would still be around regularly, I would be doing most of the lessons for the rest of the semester, so I could "learn the ropes."
So in that week, I went instantly from having one full-time job, to having two. And of course, instead of earning twice as much money for doing twice as much work, I took a pay cut of nearly 40%. Meanwhile, Mandy's -- oh, pardon me -- Miss Murphy's pay went up by over 50%, and she spent no more than 15 hours a week on campus. Only about 5 hours of that was spent actually working: She had to actually teach when our classes overlapped and I was in my own class, but of course she did no preparation, since I was required to provide her with the lesson plan to cover.
The remaining hours were spent in her office talking on the phone or playing games on the computer, until a student would come by to complain about the way I had graded something. It was easy for her to handle this; she would simply give back the points I had taken off, edit the excel file containing the grade record, and send me her edited version. I was required to then replace the version I had with hers. When I compared them, I could see that she added points to someone's score. Her strategy was very clear to me: I take off points and look like the bad guy, then she gives points back, and they love her for it.
About once a week, in each of the three courses she had made me take over almost completely, she would come to class to touch base with the students and do a few minutes of the teaching. This was basically just schmoozing time. If she was there at the beginning of class, she would stand in the hallway with me and make me hold all her things, then make a show of giving me instructions of some kind. Then she would grandly stroll into the classroom with me following behind and looking like some kind of lackey -- which of course I was. One time she was doing a little bit of teaching while I sat in a side chair up front, and suddenly she said, "Let me show you another example of this kind of problem. Davey, do you have that other example I gave you?"
I looked at her blankly, and she said, "Remember the example I gave you this morning? You put it in the green folder, didn't you? Look in your briefcase.