From play to punishment.
I got out of bed and took a steamy shower. That always seemed to help when I wasn't feeling well. But it didn't. I got out and decided that I needed to see a doctor.
"Maybe I have cancer." I took a sip of my tea.
"You don't have cancer, but you haven't been acting like yourself lately." Charlotte said. "Maybe your evil fuck buddy gave you an STD."
"Oh my god, maybe that's it! I haven't heard from her since the last time we... never mind. Yeah, maybe that's it! I already made an appointment for tomorrow. So I'll find out then. I'm going to kill her if she gave me something!"
"Does it pee when you burn?" She asked me.
"What?" I laughed.
"I mean does it burn when you pee?" She laughed.
"Well I read somewhere that that can be a symptom of STDs."
"Oh ok well no, it doesn't. I'll call you and let you know so that we can kill her together if I have something ok?"
"I really have to use the restroom."
"Ok, can you wait one second?" The sweet, tall, dark haired, man nurse left out of the room and closed the door before I answered. I looked at the pictures around the room to take my mind off of the dam that was about to overflow between my legs. There was a brief knock and the door swung open.
"I need you to pee in here." He said holding up a piss cup.
"Ok what is this for? A drug test?" I asked paranoid.
"No, standard pregnancy test for women ages 16-40."
I almost told him that I'm gay. But I stopped myself.
What's that?" He asked.
"Oh nothing" I said with a smile. I took the cup from him, got down, closed my ugly hospital robe, which I think I put on backwards, and went into bathroom. I took the robe off and stood over the toilet. I thought it would be funny to fill it up to the top. I started to pee, the cup filled fast. I let the rest of the urine overflow and run down the sides of the cup and into the toilet. I screwed the lid on, rinsed it off, dried it with a paper towel, walked out and gave it to the sweet guy nurse. He took it and gestured for me to get back up on the reclining chair bed.
I walked over and got my phone out of my pants pocket that was folded over the chair. I got back up on the paper lined chair bed thing and began texting Charlotte.
"Guess what I just did."
5mins later: "What...."
1min later: "I took a pregnancy test lol."
2mins later: "What? Why? Didn't you tell them that you're a big lezzy?"
1min later: "Uh no. They said 'standard procedure' blah blah blah."
2mins later: "Did they do any other tests?"
1min later: "Nope, not yet."
10 minutes later there was a knock on the door and then it swung open. Why do they knock if they are not going to wait for you to say 'come in'?
"Hello Ms. Smith, I'm Dr. Ziekel I'll be seeing you today. Now, can you tell me what brings you here today?" He asked as he began flipping through the pages on his clipboard.
"Yes, I haven't been feeling like myself lately and I'm usually pretty in tuned with my body and I've never felt like this before so I'm actually pretty nervous." I began to bite my nails. Nervous habit that actually benefits my lifestyle.
"I see, well can you describe your symptoms to me?" He said looking over his glasses.
"Well, I feel nauseous and really moody. And I've been having some sharp pains in my abdomen."
"Are you sexually active?"
"Do you use protection?"
"Not exactly." I said looking at a nail that I was about to devour.
"I see, and how old are you Ms. Smith?"
"I turned 26 May 5th."
"Ok, well let's see here," he began looking at the clipboard again, "it says here that your pregnancy test was positive."
"Wait, what?" I asked.
"You're pregnant." Smiling happily as if it were his own baby.
"Doctor, that's just 100% impossible." I said seriously.
"Well if you are sexually active like you said you are, and haven't been using any protection, your chances are very high to conceive; especially at your age."
"But I haven't had sex!" He frowned in confusion.