Don't give anybody any reason to connect you to the asshole."
I got up and headed for the door and Cora and Cora asked me where I was going.
"You haven't started dinner so I'm going out to get something to eat."
"Are you taking me with you?"
I hesitated a couple of seconds before saying, "I might as well. If I'm going to lie for you folks will need to see us together as a normal couple."
She grabbed her purse and followed me out to the car. The ride to the restaurant was silent as was the meal and most of the ride home. We were several minutes from the house when she said:
"You do know that I love you right? And I want to live my life with you?"
I just paid attention to my driving and stayed silent.
"It was a stupid thing for me to do baby and I promise to spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Just give me a chance. That's all I'm asking for baby; a chance to make things right between us."
"Until the next time you get curious? Do you not realize that what you have done has altered the way I think about you now? You cheated on me Cora and that has changed the way I see you. If you hadn't killed the man I would have never known, but because you needed my help you told me about it. Now I'm asking myself if the guy was the first. You say he was, but how can I believe it? The very act of cheating means that you are not trustworthy so how can I now believe anything that you say? Even if I were to believe you that he was the first do I have any guarantee that he will be the last? You can swear on a stack of bibles that he is, but you are a cheater Cora and that fact makes anything you say to me suspect.
"I'm repeating myself here Cora, but you are untrustworthy now. Anything you say to me I'll be looking at as self-serving. Knowing what you did and why you did it has me wondering. You say it was awful, but I have to ask myself if the curiosity is still there. Are you thinking that maybe Decker was not really representative of black men and so your curiosity will have you trying out another one?"
"My God Walter; how can you think that of me?
"Given the situation we find ourselves in right now how can I not think it? Repeating myself again what you did shows me that I can't trust you."
As I finished speaking I was pulling into the driveway. I parked and got out of the car before Cora ha any chance of replying. In the house I headed for the living room, settled down on the couch and turned on the TV. There wasn't anything that I wanted to watch, but I thought if I looked interested in what was on Cora would leave me alone. I was in no mood to hear any more of her denials and promises. A couple of minutes later she said:
"I'm going up to bed" and I just nodded to acknowledge that I'd heard her and went back to watching TV. I channel jumped for about an hour and then I went upstairs. I went into the bedroom, got the clothes that I would need for the next day, grabbed my pillow off the bed and headed for the door.
"Where are you going?" Cora asked.
"To one of the spare bedrooms."
"Jesus F Christ Cora; are you stupid? You still don't get it do you? You think what you did wasn't any worse than overdrawing the checking account or putting a small dent in the car. What you did has changed our whole relationship. I can't be near you now. I want to wrap my hands around your neck and squeeze while shouting "You stupid cunt! How could you have done this to us?"
She started crying and I left the room.
I was up and gone before Cora woke up.