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Fiona decides to grant her ex's wish when he drunk dials her.


Suddenly, a new avatar appeared in the chat room, calling itself "I AM THAT I AM." That prompted the lascivious nun to smile. It was after all one of the monikers her supposed Hubby went by. She invited him to a private chat.

SISTER NIGHT > That's quite a handle. Do you mind if just call you IATIA?

I AM THAT I AM > That would be cool.

SISTER NIGHT > Describe yourself.

I AM THAT I AM > I can do better than that. I can show you.

He showed her.

Sister looked at the picture and replied.

SISTER NIGHT > Oh come on, a burning bush? Don't you think that's a little trite? I need something that feels real, something to sink my teeth into or better yet wrap my cunt around. Start talking, big guy!

Suddenly a deep voice boomed within her head, "How's this?" It asked, and real flames appeared before her, their heat burning away her clothes, but mysteriously leaving her flesh unseared, although unbearably hot.

"What the fuck?" she exclaimed. "What the hell are you?"

Not exactly Hell, He thought, but close enough.

He rearranged the supergluon fields surrounding her. Now she saw Christ Himself standing before her. Not the emaciated ceramic one nailed to the plastic cross down in the vestry, but her Christ, the naked-as-a-jaybird One with the bulging Muscles and the twelve-inch Schlong already risen to heaven and pressed against her bellybutton.

"Sorry about that," He said. "I was kinda messin' with you. The bush was good enough for Moses, but I see you have other needs."

"How the fuck did you do that?" she asked.

Suddenly, she said, "You know what, I don't even care!" and threw her arms around His Body, pressing her sizable tits into His Abs and reaching down to stroke His superhuman Member.

She swept the candles and papers off the table and assumed the position first popularized by baboons in heat millions of years before the Sixth Day, in which humans first walked upon the Earth.

She felt his Divine Tongue as It explored her shamelessly offered crack. His Hands reached around to knead her massive boobs, the Holes in His Palms engulfing and squeezing her nipples rhythmically.

"Honey, could You take off Your Hat?" she asked the furiously lapping Divinity. "It kinda hurts."

He threw the Crown of Thorns into the corner of the room. "Sorry about that!" He said, and immediately went back to work, showing her the speed of the Flash combined with the lingual strength of the Hulk. Needless to say, she came many, many times.

"OK, Big Guy, I think we're ready for the Main Event," she said. Suddenly, she felt a second Tongue entering her ass, and both Tongues went to work on every orifice and protrusion in their allocated areas.

"Maybe not," she conceded, and began to bounce her ass up and down, matching the Divinity's every Movement.

When her cunt exploded for what seemed like the millionth time, she felt her Lover rising and shoving two incredibly massive Cocks into her ass and cunt. She felt two great Sets of Abs on her back, two strong Hands squeezing her tits, and another set of Hands grabbing her by the shoulders, holding her steady as He began to pummel her ass and cunt.

She tried to look back, but He said, "Do not turn around, mortal. It would just freak you out. We're kind of in quantum superposition here."

She heeded His advice and relaxed her various sphincters, allowing Him to violate and hammer her helpless body as hard as He needed to or wanted to. She suddenly understood what was going on.

"Oh Jesus," she said. "Oh Christ, Oh Our Father, Oh Daddy, Oh Daddy! Let Thy Rod and Thy Staff comfort me."

After coming for what seemed like the two millionth time, she popped the metaphysical question that had been gnawing at her gut.

"Can You do the Trinity, Honey?" she asked.

No sooner were the words out of her mouth than the Holy Ghost stood before her, his fourteen-inch Rod jutting toward her eager mouth.

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