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Two strangers meet on a wintry day for an afternoon tryst.


Sorry, but ordering up a pizza, while coercing her to flash the pizza delivery guy, when dressed only in a towel that suddenly falls at the most inopportune time doesn't count as cooking either.

Now that you don't have the money to spend on Valentine's Day, reconnect with her, be honest with your feelings, and tell her why you love her.

"Honey, I love you because you're a good sport, have a great sense of humor, have big tits and a nice ass, and are a good cook."

"Gee thanks, I think."

"Go ahead. Your turn. Why do you love me?"

"You used to have a good job and made a lot of money."

"Wait, so now that I'm unemployed, does that mean--"

"Connect the dots, Roger."

"Nah, you're just teasing me. That's just your great sense of humor. Right? Right? Sheila? Hey, where'd you go, baby?"

This day of love and romance is not about spending money you don't have on things she doesn't want and that you can't afford. Just because something isn't expensive doesn't mean that it's cheap. Just because you make something doesn't mean that it wasn't made with love and loving regard for the person.

There are some easy, commonsense things that we all can do to save money at Valentine's Day and still show that even though we may not be able afford to be generous with our money or lack thereof, we can still be generous with our heart, our emotions, our sharing, and our time. First, save yourself the hassle and the expended fossil fuel energy of driving to the mall. Forget about going to the mall. Repeat. Stay away from the mall. Stay home. Get it? No mall.

With all their cute kiosk carts and store displays tempting you to spend your money, I guarantee you'll leave there spending part of your rent money. Start by making your own Valentine's Day card. There's five dollars savings, right there. You're welcome. I just saved you five dollars and the three dollars you would have spent on a gallon of gas going to and returning from the mall. Now we're already up to eight dollars that you wouldn't have in your pocket.

Not artistic? Duh? Do you have a computer and a color printer? Don't have a color printer? Magic markers or crayons will do.

There are millions of graphics on the Internet that you can download for free. Instead of watching a hockey game and drinking a six pack of beer, spend a little time on the computer to find an image that's meaningful to her, maybe something romantic, a photo of a park bench, where you had your first kiss or (ahem) your first blowjob. See? I just sparked your enthusiasm, inspired your creativity, and heightened your libido by writing the word, blowjob, didn't I?

Instead of downloading from cyberspace, have the kids make Mommy and/or Daddy a Valentine's Day card. They'll love to do that fun activity with Daddy or with Mommy. If you're a single Mom on a tight budget, enlist your child to make your boyfriend, girlfriend, or significant other a card, along with your help or input, of course. Moreover, anyone blessed with receiving a handmade, homemade Valentine's Day card can't help but feel the loving effort that went into creating the card and will more appreciate a homemade card than a store bought one.

"What the Hell is this?"

"It's your Valentine card. I made it myself."

"Are you kidding me? Are you so frigging cheap that you couldn't even buy me a card. You weren't so cheap last week, when you were stuffing all those dollar bills in the stripper's g-string."

Not a good writer? Can't think of a sentiment or a poem to write? Google something that is appropriate. Lord Byron or Shakespeare won't care if you use their sentiment to romance your baby. Nonetheless, because you found it and copied it, makes it so much more personal because you took the time to find that perfect sentiment that even Hallmark didn't have.

So long as you put the words in quotes and credit the writer, it's acceptable to use someone else's words for your personal purpose.

2019 © All Rigths Reserved. All models were 0ver 18 y.o.